Finally in this life there is something I want and something that I've set off to go for.

I've never been one who wanted to accumulate things and never really had a lofty goal in terms of things like career or attaining material goods or even things like houses cars or whatever. I've instead been someone who just lives day to day and does what comes deals with what comes as it comes. And maybe that's the result of what happened to me when my child died and I got into an anxiety of just reacting and everything that came with me at a time because things got so bad because I felt like life was just throwing one obstacle after another at me and I've been in survival mode rather than being someone who sets a goal and works toward it. But now I do have a goal which means now I have a reason to get up every day having agenda and do something productive. I want to be a carrier of light and I want to be healthy and I want to be a good person